Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Take it to the beach!

If you foolishly whack a geezer in Florida, not only do you suffer the pain and embarrassment from the beatdown inflicted upon you by that geezer you whacked (especially if that geezer is a surfer and you are a stupid teenager), you also run afoul of Florida State Statute 784.08, whereas "anyone who is convicted of aggravated assault or aggravated battery upon a person 65 years of age or older shall be sentenced to minimum of 3 years in prison and will be forced to pay fines of up to $10,000.00. Moreover, said individual will also be ordered, by the sentencing judge, to make restitution to the victim of the offense (the elderly individual) and to perform up to 500 hours of community service work."

Millennials and whipper-snappers, you have been warned.